Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
tell me about the eggs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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