how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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