Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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