i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
