The maid of honor just puked.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
