i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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