About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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