I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
