No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I want a musical about memes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
