I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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