dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel like abortions should bother me more
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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