i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
