I wannas sexs uuuuu
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
