Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
