i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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