I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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