If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
