We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
