She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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