I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
