And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
