the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
