my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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