i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
