I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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