just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
