i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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