just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
