a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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