I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
