i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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