I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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