I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
