make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
