Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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