this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
