In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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