OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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