I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
