I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
