...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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