The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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