Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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