I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
