have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
