Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
