you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
