I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
