Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.

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(513): View more from Ohio

First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...

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(305): View more from Florida

i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss

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(612): View more from Minnesota

It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.

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(917): View more from New York City

True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.

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