We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
